An Interview with Pirate Captain Tsiaxxus

Date: 100407
Planet: Corellia
Region: Coronet

Story: (Written by the Galactic News Agency, Ramona doesn't write IC).

GNA: Captain Tsiaxxus, you were sentenced to death for piracy. What made you become a pirate?

Tsiaxxus: Well, piracy's jus' one a' the reason's 'eir given fer puttin me ta death. But, I s'pose its all a result a' me bein a pirate, yes. An' what led me down this path? (/chuckle) Well, 'bout 3 or 4 hundred years ago, I felt the need to leave behind my Doshan brothers an' seek out glory fer myself. But it wasn' jus' fer the credits, darlin... no, no... its tha thrill of it all. The power ya get from commandin' a good crew. Even took over Eisley once fer a while.

GNA: Trandoshans are traditionally known as slavers. Were you a slaver as well as a pirate?

Tsiaxxus: Yeah, I was a slaver... In fact, tha's what I was up to before turnin ta piracy. When I realized I was wastin my life away, I snatched up one of our slavin ships an' headed fer tha stars. Managed to make a pretty fine crew 'n places like Lok 'n Tatooine.

GNA: Why?

Tsiaxxus: Jus' wasn' worth the time. Like I said earlier, it's all about tha thrill of it all. Hearden half-dead wookiees from port ta port ain' exactly what I'd call an adventure.

GNA: What other crimes did you commit?

Tsiaxxus: (/laugh) hoo... le's see... trial's up, so I don' see no harm in tellin ya. Armed robbery, murder, treason, aidin' the rebellion, black mail, takin political hostages... then executin 'em. You name it, I prolly done it.

GNA: How were you captured?

Tsiaxxus: Well, this ain' the first time I been captured, now. 'Bout twenty years ago, one a my crew turned me over to the empire fer my bounty. Empire had me stuck up in that prison on Dathomir. Now, ya ask 'em about it, but they won' tell ya it exists... 's where they like ta put folks they want fergotten. Anyway, my ol' crew got word a who done it, skinned em up real nice... made a nice new carpet outta the bothan.
Where was I? Oh, they came o'er ta Dath an' busted me out... problem is it took ever last one a' 'em ta do it. So I was stranded on that blasted planet with no crew left ta call my own. Ta make a long story short, I hopped ship ta ship all 'a way back ta tatooine ta try 'an build up a new crew. I was comin along nicely... even started ta retake some ground in Eisley. Got drunk one night off a' too many sunburns in the cantina o'er in Eisley, started makin my plans known to tha public. Not too good an idea. Local imperial garrison got word, an 'afore I knew what happened, I was in one a their underground prisons.

GNA: Sandstorm, the pirate group you founded, has made the news lately. What do you feel when you hear about your former comrades raiding while you are facing the gallows?

Tsiaxxus: Has it made the news, now? Interestin... Ya see, they don' allow me a holovision 'ere in my cell. I imagine the crew simply can't get ta me. Jus' gotta be patient with 'em.

GNA: Do you envy its current leader?

Tsiaxxus: (/chuckle) I dunno who's leadin em now! I jus' know that they got where they are 'cause a me, an' everybody realize it.

GNA: Facing certain death, do you regret your actions?

Tsiaxxus: Nah... 's been a good 900 years er so. I figured someone'd get me eventually, doesn' matter if it was tha republic, this new Empire deal, or even if those rebels win an' make a new empire... it's all the same. Tha's the problem with this galaxy. Jus' wish I had time ta change that.

GNA: How does your religion tie into piracy? Do you feel that the scorekeeper will receive you with honors for raiding ships?

Tsiaxxus: Shooooot... I gave up on that goddess nonsense I dunno how long ago. She serves her purpose in gettin the weak ta turn strong, but ya really gotta be out there doin' it fer yerself.

GNA: Do you expect to be pardoned - or even rescued?

Tsiaxxus: Pardoned? (/laugh) They didn' pardon me last time, don' see nothin different bout it this time.

GNA: What is your stance on the Galactic Civil War? Do you feel it made piracy easier?

Tsiaxxus: Yeah the war made it easier! Both sides concentratin on each other, made it real easy ta do whatever ya wanted. 'Specially on tha outer rim. Now do I care who wins? Nah... they both jus' as bad as each other. Both of em need ta move out tha way fer somethin greater... an' I hope a few of the folks readin this get what I'm sayin...

GNA: Did you stash your loot, or spent it all?

Listen darlin, if ya wanna know where the credits are, yer gonna have ta join the crew jus' like everyone else (/chuckle)

GNA: Any last words for our readers?

(suddenly his voice becomes serious) Now's the time, mates... Can't let any opportunity slip through our fingers. Somethin' big's on tha horizon... I know all a ya feel it jus' like I do. Jus' know that whatever happens, I'll never die. They can destroy this Doshan body a' mine, but my legacy will live on... follow that legacy, mates.