An interview with Zess

Date: 151107
Planet: Tatooine
Region: Mos Eisley

By Kereiu Blackduster, Galactic News Agency

GNA: So, Mister... Zess? Borombo? Accounts differ about your name. Nevertheless, GNA thanks you for giving us an interview…
Zess: It's just Zess man.....who told you to call me Borombo?
GNA: Just a rumor.
*Zess slouches back in the seat.*
Zess: Alright...well make with questions then.
GNA: In any case - you are quite famous, or infamous on Tatooine and even other planets on the Outer Rim. What exactly do you attribute this notority to?
Zess: I'd say it'd be my gang life....I've got a neck at bringin out the worst in people...
GNA: Would you care to elaborate?
Zess: Whats there to elaborate? I laugh at the expense of other people on a daily basis and I guess they never seem to forget.....would you forget the person who set your anger off like a time bomb?
GNA: I did not met many such. Why exactly do you set people off?
Zess: It's fun.
GNA: Isn't it dangerous?
Zess: I can take a punch, bro...see these scars?
*Zess points to his face.*
GNA: Yes.
Zess: People need to be reminded that they're not gods... thats where I come in.
GNA: By serving as a punching bag?
Zess: These bastards are built up so big...so huge that they think they're almost flawless and they can just stomp on anybody with a deformity. Small price to pay for the smiting of their egos.
GNA: What deformity?
Zess: Any deformity....I take care of my own...the homeless kids, the ragamuffins hangin on a limb around the streets of Eisley? Thats my posse. The only people worthy of my attention.
GNA: You seem to focus a lot of attention on those "high class" people though…
Zess: In my spare time, I give 'em shit...steal from them, then give it all back to the broken community. The more time I spend with the uppity folks, the more I have to bring back.
GNA: Isn't stealing wrong?
Zess: Stealing isn't wrong with the dick in possessions of all those worldly goods doesn't deserve 'em.
GNA: So, you'd consider yourself a social rebel?
Zess: I don't know, man.
GNA: You have been hurt often. Did you ever try to take a different approach to get to your goals than up in your face, punching?
Zess: When my bros were around it was easier. You may have heard of 'em? Tetka, Cirkof, Mallus....we always got what we want when we worked together. But now? It's just me...it's near impossible to intimidate a prick when you're one man.
GNA: An infamous if short-lived gang. Is that the sort of life you aspire to? To terrorize people?
Zess: I went through thirty eight years of terrorization, I think they can take some of the same poison ...would do 'em good.
GNA: Do you consider your own suffering as justification to visit the same sort of violence on others?
Zess: You got it.
GNA: Do you have any friends?
Zess: No.
GNA: Anyone that sympathises with you?
Zess: The hell I don't know man. You think I can somehow magically jump into someone's head??? I'm not a micro-organism that can just walk around in some bantha spit's mind… I don't want sympathy. I'm happy with myself.
GNA: What about Cpike Morningstar?
Zess: What about him? He chooses all those other uppity shmucks over this. I can't exist in his annoying world.
GNA: Did you ever try this?
Zess: What?
GNA: Live in his circles
Zess: Yes.
GNA: When and where?
Zess: I don't remember when....it all took place on Tatooine. When my gang dispersed I thought I needed somebody so I changed my hair, dressed up, turned into a dapper twit...even went into Imperial service work. But it was the same page...the same dry, snide looks...
GNA: How long did you try?
Zess: Three weeks at the least. Nobody's going to accept me no matter how I look, act, smell or whatever constitutes as a person of value. So why bother acting like they want me to when I can do the exact opposite?
GNA: Apart from your old friends?
Zess: Ya apart from them. But they're a dying breed...now everywhere I go it's the same tourists, the same high collar crime syndicates, the same cops and imperial zealots....
GNA: So, you and Cpike broke up?
Zess: The hell do you mean "Break up?! We weren't a god damned couple!
GNA: Well, there were rumors...
Zess: Well they're NOT true!
GNA: … and you seem quite agitated…
Zess: Oh really!? Quite perceptive we are! Next flippin question...
GNA: Do you have a girlfriend?
Zess: No...
GNA: Are you single by choice?
Zess: Ya. I don't need anybody...remember? They only hold me back.
GNA: A lone wolf then?
Zess: Right.
GNA: Yet you claim you work for others, ragamuffins and street urchins. Why?
Zess: They're seen as the biggest ass boils on the face of the cosmos...like I was when I was..---nevermind. The point is they deserve my help...and I'm the only one capable of getting them the tools they need for survival. I don't expect anyone to understand.
GNA: But do you push them away as well when they want to get close to you?
Zess: They don't know me by face.....I disguise myself.
GNA: Why? Are you afraid of people becoming your friends?
Zess: Because I want to be anonymous...what the hell? I don't have to answer those questions.
GNA: Are those too personal?
Zess: Ya ...too personal
GNA: You seem to be a lot like the stereotypical "hard shell, soft core" man.
Zess: Look bro..I didn't ask for your opinion about me..I came for the god damned questions and the questions alone... You keep mouthin off, that skid mark of a face goes smashing into that datapad screen got it?
GNA: So, you would disagree with that statement?
Zess: Just drop it, alright? Next question...
GNA: Do you have any plans when you "sting" "high society", or do you just act randomly?
Zess: When I'm stealin something heavy...I make a game plan....anything else? I improvise.
GNA: You are said to be a heavy substance abuser, of spice in particular. Ay truth to this?
Zess: A hundred percent truth.
GNA: Did it have any negative consequences for you so far?
Zess: Besides puking, which I can take? Nah.
GNA: No personality changes?
Zess: No..
*Zess arches his brow*
GNA: Do you have anything you'd like our readers to know?
Zess: Don't bring up this interview if you see me in person.
GNA: And as a final question: Do you expect to die every day you get up?
Zess: Death is a non-issue for me.
GNA: Not for many others though, I assume - your death, that is.
GNA thanks you for the interview, Mister Zess.
Zess: Ya whatever.
*A cleaning droid appears and starts working on the seat Zess sat in*